whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
id be glad to
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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