so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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