He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
