he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Im part way to drunk.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
