Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
