just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
