she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
