Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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