Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
