i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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