He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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