He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I made him laugh his dick is mine
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
