if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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