will power is for people who don't want to get laid
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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