Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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