The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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