Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
