My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
