oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
