Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
