haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
