I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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