imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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