You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
