Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
