Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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