my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
