I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
They have beer where we have blood.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
