I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
