what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
