The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
