Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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