Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
