Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
