DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
