i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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