Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
