Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Randomize
