i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
