During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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