New invention idea: vibrating tampons
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize