When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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