Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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