so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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