We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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