He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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