This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
