The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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