so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
