he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
