Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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