the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
