It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
