bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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