YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
